Made for a Time Such as This

(by Jen, 5min)

A reflection on Esther

Just a couple of years ago (in a state of emotion) I remembered telling my husband that I had no purpose beyond where I was at that moment and feeling very melancholy about it. Also, during that time, I had been combing through the bible for the second time. I was on or maybe just finished with Esther in the Old Testament. Sadly, this book didn’t exactly jump out to me in any specific way. Basically, I read it and moved on. Currently, we are studying the Book of Esther in our life group and now it is really speaking to me. Funny how that happens.

A quick recap: Mordecai and Esther were Jewish pretending to be Persian in King Xerxes palace, for revealing who they were could prove fatal. The queen at the time (Vashti) refused to be an object to be flaunted in front of King Xerxes’ men and therefore was exiled, which left an open position for Queen. The most beautiful of all the women was chosen (enter Esther). In the meantime, Mordecai overheard two of the king’s men plotting to kill King Xerxes and told Esther, and Esther told the king, and Mordecai was favored by Xerxes for saving his life. Haman, a despicable nobleman of the King, found out that Mordecai was a Jew and set forth on this conquest to exterminate all Jews. Mordecai went to Esther and asked her to go to the King and plead with him to save their people.

Seems easy enough, right? Here’s the thing, Esther could not approach Xerxes without an invitation from him. If she went of her own accord, it could mean death for her. Brutal, huh? I imagine Esther saying or thinking, are you crazy? Why are you asking me to do this? Mordecai said to Esther, “Who knows if perhaps you were made Queen for just such a time as this” (Esther 4:14 NLT). In the NIV translation it reads: “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” King James Version reads, “…and who knoweth whether thou are come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” She chose to do as Mordecai asked and said, “If I perish. I perish.” Wow! The courage and faith she had! May I also include that although nowhere in the book of Esther is God mentioned, her faith demonstrates His presence.

“Perhaps,” “who knows,” who knoweth whether” all imply the same thing- maybe; a tinge of uncertainty. The use of the word “perhaps” is the word I would like to talk about along with “a time such as this.” Words are so powerful, and the word “perhaps” is one such word. Saying “perhaps” could indicate that Mordecai wasn’t 100% sure that she was made for this purpose. He didn’t say, “you were made for a time as this,” which would imply certainty. Conviction. He, instead, said “perhaps.” So, Esther had a choice – step out in faith and save her people or perish (her fate being uncertain to her); or she could shirk away completely and not answer a potential calling. Ultimately, she steps out in faith and approaches the king. It turns out that she was made for a time such as this. The Jews were saved from extermination, Mordecai was revered, Haman was impaled, and Esther did not perish. It appears that this was a God-ordained moment for Esther.  

This story spoke to me. Now, allow me to switch gears a bit if I may. The phrasing “A time such as this.” The word “this” – this moment. Right now. And here was the crux, at least for me: Being good with “this.” Sadly, from a young age, I succumbed to comparison, envy, finding my purpose and not embracing who I was made to be. In my defense, although religious, I was never taught how I could have a relationship with Jesus. Therefore, I was seeking acceptance and purpose from all worldly things.

As I proceeded in dance and stepped away from ballet and embraced modern dance, lyrical dance, and jazz, I recognized that girls in my class who had “meat on their bones” looked more fluid and beautiful in execution of moves and performance. So, I altered my physique (again) to match that. I could provide example after example of my attempts to be someone that I wasn’t to strive for a purpose – grand in nature. Singer, dancer, motivational speaker, yada, yada, yada, and it was usually because I envied someone who was doing the same thing; I wanted their gift, instead of allowing God to reveal to me my own. And I suppose there was a little bit of greed, pride, arrogance (insert any negatively connotative word here) in that I wanted to do something big because I wanted to be “seen.”

As I think about the Book of Esther from a different viewpoint now, I start to wonder: What if, perhaps, we are meant for many “times such as this.” What if we are searching for this big giant, awe-inspiring, touch-the-world purpose, that we miss the present “time such as this”? What if our time such as this is quiet, behind the scenes, humble and simple? What happens when we put all our eggs in one basket waiting, searching, and praying for this one major purpose? Perhaps the seemingly small time such as this is more grand and more significant than the big purpose we think we should have or what God has for us? What if we are constantly sad because we feel that God has something huge waiting for us when in actuality our time such as this is right now?

I have long since shed the desire to want a gift that is not intended for me. God has been revealing my gifts and purpose in subtle and sweet ways. And I can tell you, they are not these huge public displays, but they are just as significant. When I feel God is silent in my life, He turns out to be loudest. I am not denying in any way that God has large purposes for people that are public and reach many, sometimes thousands. What I am suggesting is that perhaps we are meant for many “times such as this” and if we are always looking for those grand ones, we might miss out on what God has made us for right now, a time such as this.

Are you in your time such as this?

I believe I am.

Jen