(by Dave, 15-20 min)
Scripture
Philemon 1:4-18
I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul— an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.
I am sending him— who is my very heart— back to you. I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me.
Don’t be that guy
There’s a plumbing company in my neighborhood that runs an ad showing a guy in the basement trying to repair his own pipes. The pipes predictably explode hosing the poor man down with water as he keeps trying to wrestle with them. The representative from the company says: don’t be that guy.
The ad begs the question, what kind of person do you want to be? The plumbing company hopes it’s someone who gives them a call, but the broader non-plumbing question starts percolating around in our minds as little kids. I remember dreaming about being Johnny Unitas or Brooks Robinson, two star athletes from my hometown of Baltimore. As we grow these youthful fantasies are replaced with more pragmatic admirations that start to shape who we are.
Mr. George was my social studies teacher in high school. The guy was as down to earth is they come. Sometimes he would start the class by saying: “Blow the dust off your notebooks and let’s get started.” He might follow this up by making a creaking door noise. The implication was we were slackers never opening our notebooks until we got to social studies. Nobody minded the gibe because Mr. George put his heart and soul into teaching and truly wanted you to learn. Although his innovative classroom ideas were ample evidence, one day we found out just how much he cared about our learning.
There was much tension between the races in my high school. An incident on one of the buses a week or so previously set off a huge brawl one day during the second lunch period (3,000 students required two lunch periods). I was in Mr. George’s class when the ruckus spilled into the hallway outside our door. He excused himself from the class, closed the door and started yelling at the rioters about disrupting his class. We sat there listening to the crashing of lockers realizing the disruptors had turned on him and there was now a physical confrontation going on.
Then, silence. The door opened and in strolled our rather large social studies teacher acting as if yelling and fighting was an everyday affair. He told us there would be no more commotion from the hallway. Without missing a beat, he returned to teaching exactly where he left off. I didn’t just admire Mr. George, I wanted to be him and told my parents I wanted to be a high school social studies teacher.
As we age, youthful idolizing gives way to appreciating the attributes we see in others enough to pick them up for ourselves. The person who taught me how to be an administrator was a boss I greatly admired. He won my admiration long before he became my direct boss because of the way he behaved during controversial personnel decisions. When things got nasty, he never responded with retribution. On the contrary, he would do whatever he could to help the people his decisions were affecting regardless of their opinions of him. Sometimes those efforts were quite remarkable and revealed his deep sensitivity and concern for others. I found the balance of executing reasoned, necessary decisions and concern for the consequences of those decisions to be very compelling.
Perhaps these tales prompt a recollection of a man or woman you wanted to be when you were a kid or the attributes of someone you admired as an adult. If so, then we can both understand Paul’s appreciation for Philemon. Unlike you and me who were personally influenced by those we admired, Paul admired people who positively influenced the growing body of Christ. In Philemon Paul finds a person like Mr. George, my boss or the special people in your life who can be admired and even emulated.
You brother indeed
Paul admires Philemon because he loves God’s people and has faith in Jesus Christ: “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus.“ In this, Philemon is like the congregations at Colossae or Philippi who are also admired by Paul for their faith and/or love of God’s people. But there is something special about Philemon: “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Philemon’s faith and love uplifts the people around him. That Paul deeply and sincerely believes this is evident in the quite intimate “you brother” phrase he uses to address Philemon. At this point in reading the letter I wanted to know how this man refreshes the hearts of the Lord’s people. What does he do that so enamors Paul?
Although the letter is an appeal for Philemon to take back his slave, Onesimus, the reason for Paul’s respect of the former emerges in the appeal. The letter suggests that Onesimus stole from Philemon and then fled, a crime punishable by death in Roman law. The fugitive meets Paul and becomes a valuable colleague in his missionary efforts. Paul makes an overt and more subtle request to Philemon about Onesimus and both requests reveal attributes of Philemon that Paul admires.
The Requests
Loving others
Philemon is asked to welcome his slave back, forgive his debts and free him so that he may return not as a slave, but as a brother in Christ: “Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother.”
How Paul chooses to ask for this favor reveals Philemon’s character. As the leader of the nascent church Paul could order Philemon to welcome Onesimus back. Instead, he appeals to Philemon’s love: “Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love.” Clearly, Paul’s declaration of thankfulness to God for Philemon’s love opening his letter is not just a pleasant salutation. Philemon truly loves God’s people and Paul appeals to this over issuing an order.
For those who truly love, such an appeal is very persuasive. Recently I watched a documentary on the 2021/22 Arsenal Football (or soccer for Americans) Club. A perennial winner, the team struggled from 2018-21. Their young manager Mikel Arteta and the club were under great pressure to restore their former glory during the 2021/22 season. It began dismally with three losses and no goals scored. Struggling to find the inspiration that would bring the team together, Arteta invited a longtime fan into the locker room before the fourth game. The fan expressed his disappointment and lifelong adoration for the team. He told them the stadium was filled with people like him and ended his remarks by asking the team to show in their play that they loved the fans as much as the fans loved them. They won.
Mikel Arteta knew the power of loving others as much as Paul did. Genuine love for people refreshes and inspires them to rise to their best. Arsenal was elevated by their loving fan and his colleagues that filled the stands. Mr. George loved us enough to literally fight to have our education unperturbed. His concern for us inspired me to want to be a teacher. Philemon refreshed the heart of God’s people because he loved them, and Paul was hoping that same love would inspire him to rescue Onesimus from a potentially tragic end. The story teaches us a lesson life reiterates. If you want to refresh the heart of someone, love him/her.
See the needs of others and respond
There is a background request being made of Philemon. Throughout the letter Paul mentions how much he values Onesimus. He says that Onesimus became his son while he was in chains and that he is “my very heart”. Paul mentions that he wants to keep Onesimus with him to help while Philemon could not be there. In verse 20, he makes his desire a little more overt “I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.”
The benefit he is referring to is Onesimus (whose name means useful) and “more than I ask” is suggesting that Onesimus not only be redeemed from slavery but released to join Paul in his work for Christ. If Philemon can find it in his heart to do this, Paul’s heart will be refreshed in Christ by the expression of love from Philemon to him.
We don’t know what happens from the letter, but we can imagine the potential responses. Philemon could have forgiven Onesimus and received him back as a brother. Because Paul’s other request was not directly asked, it could’ve been ignored. The alternate response is to hear the yearning of someone you love, even when it’s not immediately expressed, and give her or him what they need.
Although we can’t be certain, in all probability Philemon chose the latter response. Paul’s closing remarks in his letter to the Colossians includes a description that Tychicus and Onesimus will be bringing news of Paul to the church, suggesting Onesimus is freely moving unafraid of being caught as a runaway slave. Some speculate that Onesimus went on to become Bishop of Ephesus which would be quite a remarkable outcome.
Regardless of Onesimus‘s actual fate, Paul perceived a willingness in Philemon to respond to his less overt plea. Moreover, because the plea is resident in the background, there is ample opportunity for Philemon to ignore it conveying Paul’s confidence that he would voluntarily do the loving thing even if it meant Philemon was giving up any potential relationship with Onesimus.
Choosing to do the loving thing for the sake of others refreshes people. My boss did this as he cared for those impacted by the difficult decisions he made. I knew one recipient of his care, and the person was overwhelmed with the goodwill displayed. I believe Philemon heard Paul’s plea and did the same thing. Neither were told to behave this way. They did it because they loved God’s people enough to see a need and respond.
I want to be that guy
Earlier I asked what does Philemon do that so enamors Paul? The evangelist’s expectations of how he will behave reveals Philemon acts on the love he feels for God’s people. He discerns their needs and gives them what they need even if it means he loses something. We know from the letter that the reason Philemon behaves this way is because of his faith in Jesus Christ. For Philemon and all of us, true faith in the Lord leaves us no choice but to love God’s people. When asked which is the greatest commandment, Jesus responded: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22: 38-39).
The first commandment results in the second. To love God completely with mind, heart and soul is to do everything we can to comport our lives to God’s will. Jesus gives us a lived example of someone doing exactly that. Not just any someone, but God incarnate. The exemplar of perfect love for God then tells us love your neighbor as you love yourself. This is what Philemon did. He loved Onesimus enough to forgive and release him from slavery. He listened to Paul’s needs and gave up someone Paul describes as a potential brother. In short, Philemon loved Paul and Onesimus like himself and acted on that love.
Philemon is indeed someone we can emulate for he is a non-divine human following the Lord’s commandments. It is inspiring to see a broken sinner love people and give them what they need. A man who looks at Christ, believes in him deeply and says: “I want to be that guy.”
So do I. I want to be more attentive to the needs I hear in the words people speak. I want to love them enough to internalize their needs and then find a way to fulfill them in the same way I would try to fulfill my own needs. Who knows how many conversations I’ve had before writing this sermon where I missed the concerns and needs of a friend residing just under the surface of our conversation. Reading today’s Scripture verse taught me to pay attention to the meaning of the words and nonverbal communication from people I love. People perhaps I could help. Christ asks this of us and Philemon shows us an example of doing it.
For people of faith, the teachings of Christ and urging of the Spirit provide all the rationale we need to follow Philemon’s lead. But this is God’s world and loving people refreshes hearts whether or not Christ is the reason for it. Mr. George loved us enough to physically fight for the quality of our education. My boss (a Christian) cared enough for the people he led to support them through good times and bad. Mikel Arteta knew that love for others can inspire and saw to it his team learned they were loved from the people who mattered most. The fan’s expression of love then inspired a team of young men playing football to show their love for the fans on the field refreshing the hearts of an entire stadium.
While I believe we reach our pinnacle in loving others when inspired by Christ and moved by the Spirit, all acts of genuine love refresh the hearts of God’s people. This gives me great comfort, and I hope it does you too. I am not always thinking about my faith as I interact with people. But the stories I conveyed to you here reveal that in God’s world acts of love refresh the hearts of people anyhow. Bringing Christ into the center of loving others maximizes its potential for good, but any loving will lift the people we love.
It’s my hope that you and I will leave this reading today more devoted to following our Savior’s commands and to emulating Philemon’s ability to perceive and act on the needs of people. If everyone would do this, think of what a wonderful world we would have. Think of how much nicer Twitter would be.
May we all find the capacity for Christ-inspired love this and every day of our faith journey,
Dave
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